Soapbox

First a little warning, I am going to stand on my soapbox and voice my own thoughts and opinions based on my own experiences. Please take from what you read what you will. I realize there are many different spots along the transgender/cross-dressing line, as well as there are along the...let's call it..."plain gendered" line. With that said I do not intend to offend anyone, if I do I am sorry, I'm just an opinionated genetic girl.

Before I step up on my box I just want to acknowledge that I have not posted in a very long while. I think I intended to write about the fun things in my life, girlfriend of my cross-dressing boyfriend. I hit a very stressful patch, nothing to do with cross-dressing, just life issues everyone faces. I was torn between writing and venting here or not and only keeping things more upbeat. I tend to hold things in so I opted for not writing. Also, some issues did involve Green Eyes and I did not know how he would take to me venting here. Things are slowly getting better, the stress levels are coming down from their peak. So I am back and hopefully not forgotten.

Step up...

I was really drawn back to post something because of some of the things written in the blogs that I follow. You will see them to the left. I follow them very closely even though I rarely post comments. There are some places where cross-dressers and or transgendered people don't appreciate comments from genetic girls, or just ignore them. There is nothing worse for a GG than to be ignored, lol! However, this said, these girls I follow are not like that. They seem truly open and nice, some I have chatted with via email. Petra, Lynn, Jessica and Leslie all seem like wonderful girls...and great guys.

I hope that did not offend anyone. That is how I see these girls I follow. They are both men and women. Sometimes they are men, sometimes women, often a little bit of both. They appreciate and enjoy both genders. This is also how I see my Green Eyes. He is a guy, all guy at times, frustratingly guy at times. He also likes to dress in women's clothing. Sometimes he thinks, feels and emotes more like a woman. I think of him as a cross-dresser, he is happy with his male gender and occasionally exploring the female gender. Hopefully now you know where I speak from.

Lately I have been reading in the blogsphere about troubles between cross-dressers and their wives. This makes me sad and even sometimes mad. For me it is not a big deal that Green Eyes is a cross-dresser. It is something he does, it is part of him, it makes him happy, it is a private thing that does not involve or hurt others. When he told me I was not upset, it was about five months or so into our relationship. I was happy and honored that he was able to share this very private thing with me. I saw the fun we could have with it together. Don't get me wrong, I am not as perfect as I would like to sound. I am just a GG with a wild imagination and uncontrollable hormones, so sometimes I have moments of jealousy that Green Eyes is more into his reflection than me, that its all about shopping for him not me. But I am a GG, I have these feelings when he is doing some "guy" activity and not paying enough attention to me. (I know you love me honey, I just have to make a point, yeah yeah, I also know I always have to make a point, lol)

All of this rambling boils down to a few points. I wish that the wives of these nice cross-dressers would just let go and have some fun with it. If you really do worry about other people it is not difficult to do things privately. It can be a fun and bonding experience to have a secret that just two people share. Relationships, especially marriages, are hard. If you don't have cross-dressing as an issue (and let me be clear, I don't think it should be an issue) you have a million other ones...who is a slob, who is more helpful, who is more attentive... So if your cross-dresser wants to shave, let him, who cares, it is hair, it grows back. Green Eyes has much nicer legs than mine, nicer skin. It makes him happy. Compromise. Green Eyes has a goatee, I love it. Sometimes he shaves it to put on make-up, I have fun with that too, then it grows back. Everyone is happy.

On the flip side of this point, for you cross-dressers, incase you are in man mode and need it spelled out...wives need a lot of attention. No, more than that...no...more. For Green Eyes and myself, we are not married and we do not have kids together, so when he told me I did not worry about him leaving me or our kids. It took some time and small steps to get to know his thoughts on cross-dressing and to go from seeing him in women's panites to the whole wig and make-up. I do know that he is not going to leave me, he is happy with his gender, or rather both genders. He does not want one over the other. That does help to know, as a girlfriend. So cross-dressers (if this is the case), tell your wife often that you are happy as the male they know, and that cross-dressing is just another side of you. Tell them often, we GGs need a lot of reasuring, no more...more.

Wives...lighten up and have some fun. Get dressed up, your husbands truly appreciate this, they are envious of it. Take advantage of the fact that they truly enjoy going shopping with you, they were just pretending they didn't. Have fun together!

Cross-dressers...slow and steady wins the race as they say. We GGs have very fragile egos, and I know you understand that. Plenty of communication about both people. Lastly, buy your wife pretty things too.

It all comes down to moderation in all things.

Step down.

Spread the word ladies, I would like to hear from some wives and GGs.

Lucy, just slightly more sympathetic.

I am an avid web surfer. I love to read blogs and forums. I love to know what other people are thinking. People are fascinating. Way back when, while I was in college I minored in the study of psychology. These days, as I am back in school, I wonder if I should have pursued that farther. Sometimes I think of myself like Lucy, from the Peanuts comic, and wish I could hang up my sign...The Doctor is IN. (if I were more computer savvy I would insert a picture here, lol)

What could be more interesting than human behavior? People are so diverse and yet struggle with the same emotions. It makes me feel good when I can lend an ear to someone and give them a few words to let them know someone is listening and understands. I know how much I appreciate having the ear of a good friend, or a good therapist. Maybe it is just that little thing of feeling you are not alone.

When I am with my Green Eyes I don't feel alone and I like that. Last night, as you followers may realize, was Wednesday Date Night. We decided it would be a stay home night, there is a bit of job stress in the air, and I have studying to keep up with. That is not to say we didn't have a little fun. No cooking for me, we ordered pizza, Sicilian, I am still stuffed (next time we stick to regular pizza)! Then I had to draw the line after the pizza, "no we are not baking brownies, lol". It is too true, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Thank goodness Green Eyes loves my curves.

After dinner we settled onto the sofa, all comfy in our nighties, together. I had a large text book and Green Eyes had a new pair of really cute pink canvas, sling back, wedges. What is wrong with that picture, lol? I am getting a serious itch to go shoe shopping. But I digress, Green Eyes and I have actually spent the past few evenings together. He has some stress in his life and I am hopefully giving him the ear he needs, and the arms to cuddle with him. It feels good to be able to do that.

Like I said, the Doctor is in...any questions? $0.05 will get you my two cents!

More than friends, Girlfriends.

Do I start with hello to my five followers or do I start with I am sorry that I have not posted in while. I choose both. I would also like to add a big Thank You to Petra, (as you other four girls know) famed writer of the Voyages En Rose blog. Petra noticed my absence from the blogsphere and sent an email asking after me. Besides Petra being a wise woman with thoughtful words I realized she is a friend, my friend, someone that noticed my absence and reached out to me. With renewed inspiration to write and share my thoughts here I am.

Girlfriends seem to be the topic. Just the other day Staci Lana wrote in her blog, Femulate, about girltalk and chatting with women and I started to think about girlfriends. Then Petra's note to me reminded me again about girlfriends. Green Eyes and I had a brief conversation about girlfriends the other day too. I am a big believer in the stars and to me these separate instances add up to a sign telling me to stop and think a minute.

For me, a GG, it is not just friends that are important it is specifically girlfriends. Time with my girlfriends, conversations with my girlfriends renew me. We feed each other the things we need, an ear to listen to our thoughts whether they are serious or silly, words of either complete honesty or unconditional support. Girlfriends put themselves in the moment with each other, the moment could be about make-up or frustrating kids, being there together is what is important. That is what lifts us up. I am greatful for my girlfriends.

I think I may be gaining a new girlfriend, in Green Eyes (this is a bonus, he is a great boyfriend too). This weekend, after too much "life" getting in our way, we spent some quality time together on Sunday, shopping. We have been shopping together before, looking at women's clothes and shoes. Usually Green Eyes hangs back a bit as I bounce around the store touching things and trying shoes on. I know he like women's clothes, but he remains quiet in the store. This weekend we went out in our sort of matching flip flops and matching anklets, silly fun. In the store Green Eyes tried on some shoes and when I held up some clothes I thought would look good for him he joined me in checking them out more closely. We both got some new clothes this time instead of just me. I felt like for the first time we both had a good time.

Green Eyes still asked "Why don't you care that I go out wearing an anklet?" I truly have no other response than "Why should I care?" After a few emails the next day reveiwing our shopping fun Green Eyes wrote to me that it is good to be girlfriends. YES it is! Drop me a line girlfriends, I need to hear from you.